I'm so utterly confused. Things have been rocky between me and God since Germany...since 10/2009. At MHC friends would sometimes comment on my seeming steadfastness of faith...but where is that faith now?
It's amazing the powers others have to affect us, for better or for worse. Tip's persistent injury since New Year's Eve continues to affect my relationship with God. Four long months later, I still have difficulty finding the faith to believe Tip will fully recover.
Honestly, sometimes I don't want to talk to God about it. I don't want to hear what his answer will be. I don't want to chance God telling me that part of his plan is Tip NOT getting better; nor do I want to hear that it will take many more months-- or even a year-- for him to get better. Board alone is $525/month, not to mention the other associated care costs (trims, supplements, teeth floating, etc.) . I'm uneasy that my bio-mechanics person consulted an animal communicator when Tip stopped showing signs of change-- I suspect they fall into what the Bible calls "mediums" or "spiritists"-- but the promise of Tip recovering allures. 5 short sessions of 15-20 minutes of "energy giving"...and he should be improved. But even when he is healed, it will take many months of conditioning and training before I'll be at a point to ride him again.
Tomorrow is the last session. Should I cancel it and back-out, fearing demonic forces at work, or go through with it, hoping for the dramatic improvement?
Before the sessions started, I anointed Tip with oil in the Name of the Lord Jesus Christ. Seeing him in the days after, his eyes were open wide, his face seemed so much lighter and engaged with the world; I actually saw him buck in his stall a couple times. Since the 5 sessions started, Tip's eyes/face/demeanor has returned to normal...
Kyrie eleison.
It's amazing the powers others have to affect us, for better or for worse. Tip's persistent injury since New Year's Eve continues to affect my relationship with God. Four long months later, I still have difficulty finding the faith to believe Tip will fully recover.
Honestly, sometimes I don't want to talk to God about it. I don't want to hear what his answer will be. I don't want to chance God telling me that part of his plan is Tip NOT getting better; nor do I want to hear that it will take many more months-- or even a year-- for him to get better. Board alone is $525/month, not to mention the other associated care costs (trims, supplements, teeth floating, etc.) . I'm uneasy that my bio-mechanics person consulted an animal communicator when Tip stopped showing signs of change-- I suspect they fall into what the Bible calls "mediums" or "spiritists"-- but the promise of Tip recovering allures. 5 short sessions of 15-20 minutes of "energy giving"...and he should be improved. But even when he is healed, it will take many months of conditioning and training before I'll be at a point to ride him again.
Tomorrow is the last session. Should I cancel it and back-out, fearing demonic forces at work, or go through with it, hoping for the dramatic improvement?
Before the sessions started, I anointed Tip with oil in the Name of the Lord Jesus Christ. Seeing him in the days after, his eyes were open wide, his face seemed so much lighter and engaged with the world; I actually saw him buck in his stall a couple times. Since the 5 sessions started, Tip's eyes/face/demeanor has returned to normal...
Kyrie eleison.
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