there comes a time in every heart a time of real decision
when we reach the point of choosing how we will live our lives
all our hopes, all our dreams will rise up from that moment
the moment we surrender and choose to follow Christ
he's been waiting all our lives to hear us say
i am yours, lord, take my hand and lead the way

that use to be me once; yet today at church, i was convicted. I have so many of my doubts and fears and dreams, that its hard to set it all aside and just _surrender_ and walk in faith. i confess that a lot of what i am feeling is insufficency; fears that my chosen path will lead to a wasted life and that my time will not be well spent. yet a few hours spent with a friend reminds me that light must shine into the darkness, should my tounge be loosened. furthermore, as much as i joke about entering a protestant nunnery after college, i am well aware that God, guys and my path do not mix well together, and i know not someone who has successfully mixed the three.

all i have, all i am is resting in his promise
the promise that he'll make me everything that i should be
i will live, i will die, for the cause he's set before me
to take this love inside my heart for all the world to see

~Newsong, "Defining Moment"

i want, i need, to be like this once again. Lord, help me to surrender all and to walk blamelessly in obedience.