I am so afraid, that I'll find myself alone;
Looking for a savior, looking for a home....

I feel life, and then before I can take my next breath, its gone. So close to what I want, where I want to be, then everything slips through my fingers and I'm back crawling my way up again. I know its not suppose to be like this-- as a Christian its been pretty well drilled into my head that I don't have to work my way up to God, but every time he begins to feel like hes actually there, the chasm only opens up again, and all is lost. What prayers am I not praying, verses am I not mediating on?

I crave stability, a place to call "home." ... and fertile soil to grow roots. I feel like I've been kicked out of the nest for good, and that I've become a stranger in a familiar land; homeless.