oi. i can tell i havent ridden in a while. four months to be exact. then yesterday a friend decides to put me up on her [big] warmblood. i had serious problems walking out of my room this morning; it feels like someone took a hammer and a chisel and split me the way one splits wood. ow.

i can tell a lot of things though. like the hardness of my heart. its like the earth out here... if you're lucky, you have a bit of topsoil to work with before you hit clay. in other areas, its just clay. its wierd to be on the inside looking out-looking in, but thats whats happening. and like an underground stream, a current of depression runs through it all.

then there are the questions... if Gods given me a talent, do i persue/develop it or do i let it be and do something that would seemingly further his kingdom more?


when can i tell my heart to come out of hiding?