just shoot me now.

*sigh*

It certainly is not my intention to be a "sob story" or always be full of complaints, but somehow that seems to be what life's giving me right now.

I want out of WA, to run, run away and never come back. I need friends, I need community. I feel dispare, traurig-ness settling in. Its not healthy to *only* interact with one's mom day in and day out.

...and...

why did I let myself get enticed, involved in something when my first instinct was "no" ?
now, I have to do MAJOR damage control, reaching all the way to the president's office. that letter plays with far too much fire, and could oh so easily damage the fragil relationships i have with people i hold dear. I have already lost someone, once considered a close friend, over it.

i cant lose more.