i went to my cousin's wedding today. second cousin, really, but i do so much with my extended family (and way far, yet still somehow related, relatives), we usually just leave it at "cousins" and call it good. it was a fun and beautiful ceremony on lake washington, and the weather couldn't have possibly been better. somehow though, hanging out at the wedding afterwards brought the peace and the restoration that i have been searching for this summer. it also brought the longing, but a different type of longing from what i've experienced this summer.

it made me remember. and dream. and realize that everything will be alright.

something about the fellowship time and the reception, and meeting of long-lost cousins and the bride, her friends and her family and all of the church ladies, my social skills (that i've so "proudly" acquired in ma) popped back up and it was like i became my new-self again, and not the saddened, sulken person of the old-self. and it made me smile again, laugh the deep belly laughs until my sides hurt and then some, and my life became like blue skies-- a joyous blank canvas filled with possibilities and potential. it also brought the longing for more and for a future-- not like the longing ive experienced for most of the summer for what was.

and for a moment there, it made me want to ride again.
and dance with gladness again.