On [not] sharing my faith...
I spent a couple hours today working on my email address book and adding names to a email group for my prayer letter/ministry update. Combing through my address book, I was taken back by how few people I've actually shared my faith with, or at least who know me as a Christian. It's like... the closer the person is to me, the less likely they are to know about my faith, perticulary if they knew me before or during my Conversion.
No wonder sharing my journey last Spring at MHC felt so much like coming-out...except it was with one small group of people and not everyone I know or who is important to me. I think that in all my years at Creekside and Miari, I came close only ONCE to sharing my faith...whether or not a few others have guessed my faith, I can only hypothesize. Given the hostile climate (a few often mock Christians just about every chance they get, another seems badly burned: "Gods too busy to hear your prayers"), I didn't [don't] want to be the one who throws salt in the wounds Christianity has inflicted upon them, to be the one who pushes them even further away, yet by not acknowledging that I am a follower of Christ, I am no better than the others and have no chance to help them see who Jesus really is.
As for my [extended] family, I can only guess. I suppose one good thing about my room back at my parent's, is that its not hard to figure out I'm a Christian from it; bad news is that my faith seems almost taboo-ish (but in whose eyes? mine? or theirs?) and has replaced the need to publicly declare that I follow Jesus.
There really are two "mes": the Christian and the closet Christian.
Once again this verse rings true to me:
"Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God." -2Co4:2
I have a lot of reconciling to do.
I spent a couple hours today working on my email address book and adding names to a email group for my prayer letter/ministry update. Combing through my address book, I was taken back by how few people I've actually shared my faith with, or at least who know me as a Christian. It's like... the closer the person is to me, the less likely they are to know about my faith, perticulary if they knew me before or during my Conversion.
No wonder sharing my journey last Spring at MHC felt so much like coming-out...except it was with one small group of people and not everyone I know or who is important to me. I think that in all my years at Creekside and Miari, I came close only ONCE to sharing my faith...whether or not a few others have guessed my faith, I can only hypothesize. Given the hostile climate (a few often mock Christians just about every chance they get, another seems badly burned: "Gods too busy to hear your prayers"), I didn't [don't] want to be the one who throws salt in the wounds Christianity has inflicted upon them, to be the one who pushes them even further away, yet by not acknowledging that I am a follower of Christ, I am no better than the others and have no chance to help them see who Jesus really is.
As for my [extended] family, I can only guess. I suppose one good thing about my room back at my parent's, is that its not hard to figure out I'm a Christian from it; bad news is that my faith seems almost taboo-ish (but in whose eyes? mine? or theirs?) and has replaced the need to publicly declare that I follow Jesus.
There really are two "mes": the Christian and the closet Christian.
Once again this verse rings true to me:
"Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God." -2Co4:2
I have a lot of reconciling to do.
1 Comments:
You have helped me so much to see what Christianity should be, and whaether that is how I view Christianity as a whole, it is certainly how I view your walk with faith. I know that you are struggling right now, and while I am probably not much help in the God area, I am always here if you want someone to talk to.
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Anonymous, at 3:26 PM
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