The Secret's out...

I'm applying to work as PT staff for MHC's IV. It just doesn't seem like I've "finished" the job...like I'd be walking away with 3/4 of the stuff done and still 1/4 left to do. So I'm going back to "finish" it, what ever that means. And, yes, its a year-long commitment.

The Lion's Den's still in the picture; more on that later.

Life is...

great/exhausting

The summer program began for the kids this week and its far more exhausting that I can even begin to describe. We have 11 kids who come, and for the first hour, we try to get them to play games with us, like catch or soccar or pictionary. Then usually comes the arts and craft time/boys play pool. After that is lunch and then the bible study and then everyone loads back up and we drop them off. Altogether, the program is 2 hours. The kids are obstenient, hungry, impatient, short-tempered, lovable. So far, I haven't had a day yet, in which fists fly at each other or verbal agression hasn't occured. I've gotten very good at breaking up fist fights: putting myself in the middle of two feuding boys, while tearing one off the other. For all of this, the kids are hungry: physically (i'm not sure how much food is in some of their houses) and spritually.

Greg origionaly said to keep the Bible study short-- like 5-10 minutes, yet i'm finding these kids so hungry to get into the word and to learn truth and to experience real love, that the past couple days i've budgeted 20-30 minutes for it (1/4 to 1/6 of the total progarm time). While most Bible studies that I've seen occur at the Den are about the Christian life, I've refocused them onto who Jesus is and faith. Some of our new kids haven't been exposed to God before, I dont' think, and they're asking questions like "are angles real?" and "how does Jesus heal people?" Question for my readers: what do you wish you had been told about Jesus when you were younger (12 and under)? What stories/truths did you like the best? What about Abba? The Holy Spirit?

I absoluetly love working with these kids. Sure its frustrating at times, and tireing (I need a 2-3 hour nap after I'm done with the program for the day), but its like Abba has taken my hand in his and placed it over his heart, as if to say, "see, here's where my heart lies, feel it beat."

Socially, a turning point seems to have been made. Monday, I spent ALL evening with the daughter of one of the pastors at the Russian church I do stuff with, and last night, I spent a while on the phone talking to anohter girl (same church, but shes American, not Eastern European). Yay for hanging out with people who are about my own age.

Meanwhile, technology hates me. My computer broke a few weeks ago (hardware problem, as of yet, haven't been able to get it fixed), my iPod that was such a wonderful gift from IVCF girls wont turn on (its under warrenty, so I'm sending it back to the company for repair)...and I dont know what to do about my car situation. As my parents point out, if I'm staying in Springfield for longer, then getting a car makes sense...BUT it does hinder my mobility (read: EUROPE) options. Part of my doesn't want to leave, especially leave those kids...not after this week (see 2 paragraphs above), but at the same time, commiting myself to a place (especially Springfield) is really frightening, cuz i dont really wanna give up that freedom.

I ABSOLUTELY love my "job". Evenings like tonight make it all worthwhile. A puppet team came in from Cederville University (Ohio) and did a puppet show the past two days and I got to hang out with them quite a bit. Its a fairly small team (3 guys, 3 girls) but they were super nice and it was great spending time with college students again. I'm driving a *tank* of a van right now-- its one of those mini-PVTA buses (10 seater, but wheelchair accessable) and when filled with middle schoolers it makes for an interesting trip. Anyways, I learned to get help in transporting the kids-- me to drive and 1-3 others to entertain the kids in the back and make sure they're sitting down, wearing seatbelts and such. One really cool thing is that some kids who have never EVER been to the Lion's Den decided to come with the others to this VBS that Greg's church is putting on (the puppet team is doing the children's portion). When you are firm and pay attention to the kids and interact with them, there's nearly a 180deg turn-around in their behavior and they're really great kids with lots of potential.

Anyways, after the program tonight one of the kids who's never been in contact with us accepted Christ... it was really really cool to witness him put his faith in God and pray and talk about the Bible with (I wasnt accually walking him through it-- my friend Matt was)... I'll get to disciple him in the coming weeks/months/years [that's right-- years. I'm strongly considering staying in Springfield for longer than 6 months]. The other kids when we dropped them off at the projects really didn't want to get out of the car and were giving us hugs and high-fives and tryign to climb back into the van. In the van Andrew (Cederville) was driving, they taught the kids the lyrics and hand motions to "One Way" a really catchy, up-beat p/w song. I'm really really excited for the rest of summer and to see the kids more (a couple kids asked us if we'd be back tomorrow and were rather displeased when we said, no tuesday).

*happy blissful sigh*

The best party though, is that it is ENTIRELY God...Nicholas accepting God, the change in attitudes adn excitement/enthusiam of the kids for our ministry.

Earlier this morning/afternoon, I was sorta grumbling to Abba about some stuff [what exactly i cant remember right now] and the bottom line was that I prayed that he would either change me or the circumstances... looks like He's changed/ing both. God's just awesome like that.

[this goes out to all of my IVCF and DOZ friends...one in perticular]

I'm really really really sorry. I'm sorry for all the times i was so entrinched in academics that it seemed like there was no time for you, for God, for reaching out and untying the ropes that held you bound. I'm sorry for the times I had a frenzied mentality, for the "it shoulda been done yesterday" mentality...and could never just "rest" in the moment. And I'm even sorrier if I placed any of that onto you.

While I hope-- I pray-- that some of this was undone my senior year, that doesn't excuse the semesters that I was like that. Forgive me this grevious sin.

So why now, why this change? Because I work for someone who's like that [see above]. I never want to be like that again.

Apparently, the Sabbath isn't just a day of the week. It's a lifestyle, its a mentality, it's a choice that has to be made daily...to give God the firstfruits of everything--including time. While some sense of haste is good (benificial even, so that we don't become lazy and slack off on the purpose/task given to us), frenzy is the opposite of rest, of trust [in God's timing, his will, his plan].

***

In other news, my best friend from high school, Kim, came out and visited me for 3 days. It was amazing having her out here. We went to the mall and hung out at the house on Friday, Saturday we went (after sleeeeeeeeeping in) to Amherst, Hadley (yeah River Rd and Sugar shack!), but spent most of the day in NoHo. We had so much fun trying on expensive ring sets, going through all the little botiques, eating at Harrels and Spleto... twas fun to run into Cindy, Ali and Jen. :-) Later, after dinner we went for a "short" stroll around NoHo at night, which ended up being an hour long funness photographing the various churches at night. We got some great shots.